Suena complicado no??? Ya mismo les explico...
Hoy tengo a mis estudiantes en el salón tomando su exámen. Todo en este salón es silencio y veo las caritas de asustados que tienen. (En el salón tengo computadora con acceso al internet) Les tengo pena porque ya pase por sus pupitres para ver lo que hacían y no todos estan "on track". Les dije que se cogieran un break para yo darles un "la"...a ver si asi pueden. Vamos a ver cuando me ponga a mirar los examenes en el fin de semana.
Como siempre....les dire que estoy cansada...me duelen los ojos, casi no duermo y casi no como. A lo mejor me estoy ahogando en un vaso de agua pero ahora mismo no tengo otro vaso en donde descargar para no sentirme asi. Es dificil de comprender pero asi estoy vivendo la vida.
Si hay algo que quiero que entiendan...y es algo que Julie me puso de comentario en el post pasado. Es el hecho que ella siente que no le quito el guante de la cara a la familia de mi marido...me hizo reflexionar y les dire que esto es lo que hay....
I am not new to the family...we've been together for 13 yrs...and to me that is a pretty long time. The beginning of the relationship was not a very pleseant one and those who have been there from the "beginning" (Shana, Nancy, Dorka, Pito, and others) know that this has been an uphill battle.
Recently...as recently as Tuesday I fought my LAST battle. It raised a red flag...a VERY DEEP COLOR OF RED and the drama goes something like this (resumido):
My son forgot his Spanish books and his Math book at school and he had homework. I was in the living room and was telling him about consequences when my father in- law decides to take away my authority by telling my son to not to listen to me, that he would go to the school and pick up the books....HUH???? Very calmly...VERY!!!! I tell him not to. So I keep talking to Raul E about how I will write a letter to the teacher and let her know that we spoke about what the consequences were of not being responsible and that we understood that it wasn't going to happen again (mind you, it was 5:00 pm and nobody was at the school). Nevertheless, I had no intention of going to get the books because this was not the the first time it had happened and this is the way we do it as parents...we had agreed that this was the way to go. The teacher was not going to chew him out or kill him...he has to get it....
Who didn't get it was my father-in law... while I was explaining, talking calmly to Raul E. why we were (MIND YOU....WE...R and I were both dealing with this) not going to get the books and why responsibility is important, he (my father-in law) was screaming at ME telling ME that time will only prove how SHITTY I AM AS A MOTHER...MOI...ME...YO...ZEN...LA NEGRA. He was also telling me that I was only putting my capacity with that of a 7 year old...and that I was as imature as my son....MOI. My son started to cry because I he saw that I was upset and about to burst...which I did....but not telling him before to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUSINESS AND OUT OF HOW I RAISE MY KID!!!
Guante de la cara???? Quien le tiene a quien....por donde reviento???? Por el pecho????? NO...por el blog!!!! Por el mismo espacio que creé para razonar y buscar mi razon de ser en este universo....
Pasaron muchas cosas mas...una de ellas el que le cuestione a R porque no salió el a hacer algo por mi....lo cual hizo...15 min despues (porque me entere que el padre se puso a gritar...no se porque me fui pal' cuarto y me puse el ipod.) Despues que el padre se calmo...entonces el le dijo al padre que no se metiera... para mi que espero mucho...sometimes things have to be nipped at the bud.
Pasaron, como dije, muchas cosas mas. I have decided not to eat at the house if I can help it...I'll tell you why...apparently they feel that if they do stuff for us that gives them the right to tell us what to do or how to live...while they give to his little brother and NEVER question him about anything because...bendito he has it hard and is doing the best he can...
His parents have lived with us...and we know...KNOW that these are adults capable of living their lives without us having to interfere. When we lived together we NEVER asked for anything and tried to do make things as comfortable as possible.
Why don't I move...easy...NO PUEDO!!! $10,000 in the hole is no fun, plus R is not working now...I have to suck it up and keep on forward...un pruebita mas antes de que pueda echar pa' lante....better times will come...I know so, like I also know that we made the choice pf coming back...but that I have to vent...YES I have to vent...pero como sacarle el guante de la cara a quienes no me dejan respirar...
Ah, y por si acaso...esto es algo que habiamos hablado que no queriamos que pasara. ANTES de llegar aca...ANTES de tomar la decision final se habia hablado de que no se podian meter en nuestras cosas y...si tenian una opinion se hablaba...TODO EL MUNDO estuvo de acuerdo...y de ahi se tomo la decision final...UNDERSTAND????...yo que creia que estabamos en la misma pagina y poco a poco me percato que no todos tenian las fichas completas...SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!
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