I FUCK TOO DAMN IT!!!!

En medio de todo este revolú de la mudanza tambien tengo que seguir trabajando.. .tu sabes, enseñando, corrigiendo, preparando examenes...en fin...trabajando...cosa que tengo que seguir haciendo porque si no es obvio que no me pagan...bueno a fin, como siempre, ¿que como me siento? pa' que les digo si ya lo saben...la cosa es que mis estudiantes no. Me ven todos los días aqui, en el salón o en la oficina...sino de camino al baño o a la maquina de refresco, pero yo de aqui no salgo. Para que tengan una idea...salgo de San Sebastián a las 5:50 a.m. para llegar a eso de la 6:30 am (todos los dias-no hay dia que entre mas tarde) mi primera clase es a las 7:00 a.m. asi que a entre 6:31 y 7:00 aprovecho para leer email y blogs. La mierda es que estoy aqui hasta las 4:00 p.m. LM y 5:00 p.m. MJ...los viernes salgo de aqui a las 3:00 p.m. Paso mucho tiempo en la Universidad...los estudiantes entran y salen. Me cuentan sus cosas o me piden ayuda con algo que no entienden y yo aqui como siempre...los otros días, un estudiante, no mio sino del departamento de inglé,s vino a la oficina a hablar conmigo y con los otros dos que estan en la oficina. El siempre viene y se da la vuelta para contarnos lo que esta pasando con los estudiantes y viene y nos dice que nosotros (los profesores en general) somos unos "amargao'" Asi como si nada...yo me eché a reir porque yo no hablo con muchas personas aqui pero tuve que aguantarme para que el no se sintiera mal ni mis compañeros tampoco...lo que queria decirle: (y me perdona si no me comprenden o se ofenden pero este es mi blog y mi FUCKING ROLLO- pueden darle a la "x" en la parte superior derecha cuando gusten) I FUCK TOO DAMN IT!!! I clean, I sleep, I eat, I bathe, I play Nintendo DS and Game Cube con el nene, I kiss, I get horny, I need to feel girly....I FUCK!!!! I don't read the bible when I get home (no que hay algo malo en eso pero esa no soy yo), no me dedico a corregir las 24 hrs del dia y mucho menos a orar por mis estudiantes (no quiere decir que no pienso en ellos pero aqui hay profesores que hacen circulos de oración con los estudiantes ::rolls eyes:: go fucking fugure!!) pero a lo que me refiero es que tengo una vida fuera de aqui y mi vida me afecta y lo cargo conmigo de lunes a viernes aqui en mi oficina y cuando voy al salón....hago lo que hago...ME ENCANTA pero es bien facíl perder la identidad aqui cuando eres una para atender a 170 estudiantes....me siguen?? Cuando estudiaba nunca pensaba en la vida del maestro o profesor fuera de la escuela o Universidad...es bien difícil ver que alguien tiene una vida mas allá de lo que es un trabajo...a mi me pasa a cada rato...claro que si...sería una estupidez de mi parte si lo niego por eso es bien importante para mi el YO entender que hay vida mas allá para mi cuando lo que quiero es gritar del cansancio...me pierdo, se me olvida que soy una mujer, madre, hija, esposa, hermana, prima, tia, ser que tiene todo el derecho de ponerse bellaca y/o emborracharme (cualquiera de las dos que venga primero) en su tiempo libre. Siento y padezco CARAJO y tengo el derecho de levantarme contenta porque todo esta bien o ENCOJONA si por alguna razón peleo con R o que me levanté encojona y punto...que se JODA!!! UFFF ya me siento mejor y no tan perdida... que todavia esats leyendo...coño gracias por escuchar y tratar de entender esta pequeña busqueda de una identidad no perdida sino escondida entre tanto trabajo!!! UN BESO...MUAA!!!

The dark side of my weekend!!!

Okay...ya vieron las fotos de Boqueron...que bonito verdad??? This is my other reality... Boxes and more boxes... FUCK NO!!!!! MORE BOXES.... Ahora les voy a enseñar mi cocina...esta bien 70's ¿no creen? I find it kinda cool. I like it alot...yellow and white is not my thing but I find it cool...it has character. The accsesories that I placed on top were things that belonged to "Mother"...you know antiques like china, batidora de mano, cafetera antigua, quinques (no se si se escribe asi), relojes...see??? Y ¿que creen que pasaba cuando abría las cajas?... par de cosas que encontré...wiiiiiipiiiiiii!!!!! Que mierda...

Pics of Boqueron...

These are the pics I took in Boqueron Thursday October 12. I will be posting tomorrow the pics from the rest of my weekend. Hope you enjoy these!!! Un beso y un abrazo a TODOS!!! Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

What's up with me...

(Most of the pics are taken by me from my car...while I'm driving. This is downtown Aguadilla) Well I can say that I am alive and kicking. Lot's of work. I am covering classes for another prof who has been sick so I now carry with 6 Basic English classes... As usual...I am tired. Finally decided to take the house so en esas estoy...bregando con la casa y limpiando cuando tengo el break....mientras tanto me encuentro en la casa de los suegros. At least I get to fix and clean the house knowing that I will have my own place. I am kinda of excited...scared but excited. Me llegó la mudanza ayer asi que tengo la casa llena de cajas...AGAIN! UFF! I have alot to do, I know. I am looking forward to seeing a friend of ours who is in the Navy and came to San Sebastián to see us with his son. We are going to Cabo Rojo Wednesday night and staying with him until Thursday afternoon...a "mini" break. Peor es na' y le agradezco que nos ofrecio el que nos quedaramos con el para compartir like we used to in College. Sounds like fun. I've been thinking alot...when I get the time, about all that's been going on...especially since I got here and I know I bitch and moan but you know what...It's all good. A veces veo las cosas mas grandes que lo que son y si son grandes los problemas que se joda...hay que bregar. Por lo menos no estoy sin techo, sin comida y sin los mios (mi nene y mi otro NENE). Que se joda...hay meter pecho (o como diria mi madre bella- "hay que mojarse el culo"...sip es igual de "colorida" que yo- ha alguien tengo que salir!!!) y se que me quejo y jodo y to' pero es que me lo tengo que sacar de encima. Escribo porque lo necesito...sino, como dije antes...exploto por el pecho y eso no era. Un beso y como siempre...gracias por entender...

I Have...

Have... The things in bold are the things I’ve done! I saw this in Lyllia'a blog, and thought it would be cool to post and see who else does it...copy it and publish your list. Thanks Lyllia... 01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink. (I was the manger at the bar and was drunk to the max...shhhh...my then boss is still my good friend and does not ANYTHING about this!) 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain. (Does Mt. Charleston, Las Vegas count??) 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone. (QUE RICO!!!) 08. Said “I love you" and meant it... (Yep....to the three loves' of my life!) 09. Hugged a tree 10. Bungee jumped 11. Visited Paris (twice) 12. Watched a lightning storm at sea 13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise. (When I studied @ Colegio and was in my bar hopping phase) 14. Seen the Northern Lights 15. Gone to a huge sports game 16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 18. Touched an iceberg 19. Slept under the stars (Many times at Combate!!) 20. Changed a baby’s diaper (Hell yeah!) 21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 22. Watched a meteor shower 23. Gotten drunk on champagne 24. Given more than you can afford to charity (When I moved from Vegas to here) 25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (At R's grandmother's funeral) 27. Had a food fight (More than I would care to remember) 28. Bet on a winning horse 29. Asked out a stranger (Almost sure I have) 30. Had a snowball fight (Yes!!!!) 31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can (I usually do this in my car!) 32. Held a lamb 33. Seen a total eclipse 34. Ridden a roller coaster (I can't remember the name of the ride but it was @ Dorney Park, PA) 35. Hit a home run 36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 37. Adopted an accent for an entire day (My husband hates the accent Spaniards have so I do it just to drive him crazy) 38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (YES YES YES!!!) 39. Had two hard drives for your computer 40. Visited all 50 states 41. Taken care of someone who was drunk (QUE MIERDA!!!!) 42. Had amazing friends (Where do I begin?...Nancy, Shana, Julie, Leixa, Meli, Reize, Rosita....no son MUCHAS pero son buenas!) 43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 44. Watched wild whales 45. Stolen a sign 46. Backpacked in Europe 47. Taken a road-trip (From PA to Las Vegas) 48. Gone rock climbing 49. Midnight walk on the beach (QUE VIVA COMBATE COÑO!!!!) 50. Gone sky diving 51. Visited Ireland 52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love (Ayyyy Rubén y Lorenzo!) ::sighs and shakes head in shame!:: 53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 54. Visited Japan 55. Milked a cow 56. Alphabetized your CDs (Part of bein anal retentive people!!!) 57. Pretended to be a superhero (@ the age of 5-Wonderwoman-and broke my arm in the process.) 58. Sung karaoke 59. Lounged around in bed all day (Bahhhh-como que lindo esta el día) 60. Posed nude in front of strangers 61. Gone scuba diving 62. Kissed in the rain (Ayyyyyy Rubén y Lorenzo!!!) 63. Played in the mud (Despues de grande) 64. Played in the rain (en los aguaceros del Colegio!) 65. Gone to a drive-in theater 66. Visited the Great Wall of China 67. Started a business 68.Fallen in love and not had your heart broken (MI AMADO MARIDITO Raúl....se jodio Rubén y Lorenzo jajajaja) 69. Toured ancient sites 70. Taken a martial arts class (When I was like 9) 71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 72. Gotten married (HAPPILY!!!) 73. Been in a movie (Producciones caseras que luego son borradas.....hahahahaha) 74. Crashed a party (QUE VIVA COLEGIO!!!) 75. Gotten divorced 76. Gone without food for 5 days (QUE VIVA COLEGIO y QUE VIVA EL RON!!!) 77. Made cookies from scratch (I do the Martha Stewart thing once in a while) 78. Won first prize in a costume contest (not really...although I did wear a costume once that made me PRETTY popular) 79. Ridden a gondola in Venice 80. Gotten a tattoo (Yep, on my lower back) 81. Rafted the Snake River 82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 83. Got flowers for no reason 84. Performed on stage (Played the Ghost of Christmas Past in High School) 85. Been to Las Vegas (Lived there...OVERRATED) 86. Recorded music 87. Eaten shark (Pinchos) 89. Had a one night stand (hahahahahahahahahaha....hahahahahahahaha- what do you think??? hahahahahaha) 89. Gone to Thailand 90. Bought a house (More like "the money pit") 91. Been in a combat zone 92. Buried one/both of your parents 93. Been on a cruise ship 94. Spoken more than one language fluently 95. Performed in Rocky Horror 96. Raised children (Raising a child) 97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 98. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over (sort of) 101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking (Daily) 103. Had plastic surgery 104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 105. Wrote articles for a large publication 106. Lost over 100 pounds 107. Held someone while they were having a flashback 108. Piloted an airplane 109. Petted a stingray 110. Broken someone’s heart (sad but true) 111. Helped an animal give birth 112. Won money on a T.V. game show 113. Broken a bone (My arm when I was 5...remember???-Wonderwoman) 114. Gone on an African photo safari 115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 118. Ridden a horse 119. Had major surgery 120. Had a snake as a pet 121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (QUE RICO!!!!) 123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 124. Visited all 7 continents 125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 126. Eaten kangaroo meat 127. Eaten sushi 128. Had your picture in the newspaper 129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about (You know who you are) 130. Gone back to school 131. Parasailed 132. Petted a cockroach (FUCK NO!!!!) 133. Eaten fried green tomatoes 134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey (MALDITA SEA EL COLEGIO!!!) 135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 137. Skipped all your school reunions (SIP...no me importan!!) 138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 139. Been elected to public office 140. Written your own computer language 141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream (I feel that now) 142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 143. Built your own PC from parts 144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 145. Had a booth at a street fair 146. Dyed your hair 147. Been a DJ 148. Shaved your head (Back in High School) 149. Caused a car accident 150. Saved someone’s life

Much Going On...

Yep...there is alot going on...just got over being sick and at my in-laws since Tuesday afternoon. No internet except for dial up and that drives me INSANE...at least got to hang out with Raúl and do stuff together like going to Mayagüez to but R E some pants for his PE class and having lunch at the mall like we used to. Not all was bad except for the fact that I had alot to do and did nothing for those five days. UFFF....frustrating but I did get to be with Raul E and do homework and stuff...oh, and before I forget, finally got a place to live....don't know if it the best option but at least it is something. On Friday, Raúl and I were getting ready to go out when his mom tells us that her brothers and sisters wanted to talk to us and their mom's house...the house in front of Raúl's parents' house. As those of you who read me on a regular basis know, his grandmother passed away Sept. 16 and now the family is getting together to sort out who inherits what, so the fact that they wanted to talk to us was way beyond me (sort of)... R and I start to go over there and his father says he wants to go to... Why would his father want to go over there when they call for R and I is just proof of how wrong things can go if we don't put a stop to it. We tell him to mind his own business and proceed to go. So we go there and find out that they wanted us to rent the house with the option to buy in a year or so. We kinda knew this would happen because the family wanted to keep the home in the family and everyone else has a place to stay except for us. We talked over the conditions for renting, $$, and other stuff and agreed to do it. Mind you, I will only be feet away from where I am now...hmmmmm. R and I went out for a couple of drinks and to talk about the house and the fact that we would be so close to his house....hmmmmmm. That was a LONG....loooongggg conversation and basically it boils down to this.... if he does not get it though his father's head that this is OUR place and that he can only come by when invited or when necessary and that this is not a NEW hang out for his dad we will be okay...now, that is something he will have to do not me...that is not my father. It's either that or I am OUT.... no pity no nothing...I leave, get my place, and he can stay with his parents... On Saturday I helped clean and sort out stuff in the house and R's aunts and uncles (9 in total) were claiming pics, furniture, plates and stuff and ALL of them...sin exagerar...ALL of them told me to keep my father-in-law out of there when possible. Before calling us to make the offer on Friday, they had told my mother-in-law that they were negotiating with us, R and I, not my father- in- law and that she should know by now that they really don't care for him...they wanted us to be part of the house not him. She understood and agreed to keep him at bay. That did not last because he showed up on Saturday when all of us were there and said "well, now this house is ours...empty it as soon as possible"....UFFFF All of the family members present told him "this is Raulito and Zeni's place you make the crowd..." He got mad and left...don't know....hmmmmmm. Let's see what happens in the next month or so...I am holding ground and know that his family is looking out for us but no me quiero cortar las patas because of him....the property is not in the best shape but the land is golden and worth something because of the location. We are not planning in making any major changes to the property until it is surveyed and we get a price for it. Once that is done then I can make changes and do what I want. R and I (IF ALL WORKS OUT) want to make some changes to the structure and invest in what could become our home. (I've been trying to post pics with Bogger but I can't right now...no lo esta cogiendo arghhh) hmmmm